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  • caddiesandyoung 13:21 on September 29, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Brendan Rodgers, ,   

    A Real Week In Football – The Harmony Of Scouse & Super John Terry…Banter King 

    Due to the hyper sensitivity around football at the moment, I’ll review recent events with the delicacy of Edward Scissorhands knocking one out.

    We visited Anfield, home of our favourite neighbours for a jolly affair. Before the match there were Hillsborough related silences, balloons and flowers. All was handled respectfully by both sides and the entire match carried on in the same vein really. The highlight of the 1st half was when Jimbob Shelvey slipped and accidentally caused pain to Jonny Evans. Jimbob, being the respectful young man he is, volunteered to leave the field of play and while heading for the tunnel he screamed “I’M SORRY FOR LOWERING THE TONE!” in the direction of Sir Alex Ferguson. At half-time, the players  served each other orange quarters and dilute squash before wishing their opponents  all the best for the 2nd half. Almost as soon as the match had resumed, that delightful chap and friend to DJs worldwide, Steven Gerrard gave the home side a 1-0 lead and Manchester United players, fans and most notably manager applauded with aplomb. Five minutes later, and wanting to keep things pleasant, the plucky scousers stepped aside to allow Rafael to curl in a lovely goal and make it 1-1. (More …)

     
  • caddiesandyoung 19:22 on September 22, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Alexander Buttner, Brendan Rodgers   

    A Real Week In Football – Enter The Buttner And Rodgers Dodgers 

    Following on from the devastating news that our dynamic duo Shinji & Robin had both died while on international duty, we just didn’t know how, as a team we would recover.

    We welcomed The Pie-Eaters to Old Trafford and spent the first 45 minutes in mourning at our bereavement. At half-time a tearful Chicharito noticed Robin hiding behind the physio table while Scholes was dazzled after spotting Shinji running above the stadium exquisitely stepping from one rain drop to another. It turned out, despite United fans across the world thinking otherwise, they had lesser injuries than you may incur from a medium sized sneeze! All cheerful and out of mourning United won 4-0 with debut goals from Little Nicky (not the son of Satan played by Adam Sandler) and Büttner (the actual son of Satan).

    Elsewhere it was nice to get the answer to the big question; Can a bunch of egotistical overpaid mercenaries do it on a tepid Saturday afternoon in Stoke? The answer is clearly no. Another question nobody gives a crap about; Will the handshake happen? I don’t care if they get their little fellas out and start sword fighting, it’s important not to waste all the excitement on a pointless pre match handshake so the actual match isn’t a terribly boring 0-0 between the Rentboys and the Rentboys-lite!!

    Being known as the Black-Cats it seemed Sunderland cared nothing for Liverpool or sentiment as they made it 4 games without a win for Buck Rodgers, who if he carries on like this he may become my favourite Dippers manager since Kenneth the furniture whisperer. (More …)

     
    • Real Red not a fake like you tit features 21:31 on September 22, 2012 Permalink | Reply

      What gang of utter morons you Manure are. You have the intelligence of a snail walking on salt thinking it may taste good.

  • caddiesandyoung 14:51 on September 8, 2012 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Brendan Rodgers, , ,   

    A Real Week In Football – Arsenal Outrage, Liverpool Shipbuilding And Scarfman Feeds Tevez 

    Three weeks in and what have we learned?

    Arsenal fans are outraged and rightly so. The club allowed the contract of their star player, Dobbin Van Horsie (aka Judas Iscariot), to run down in an unthinkable repeat of the Sandra Nasri situation of the previous summer.  Fear not Gooners for Professor Yaffle had already purchased the replacements and one of them is a sharpshooter. Step forward Oliver Giro. 3 games and 2 clear open goals missed he might just hold the same goal threat as a latter-day Emile Heskey or, dare I say it…Kevin Davies?

    And what of our chums down the East Lancs Road?

    2011-12 was a horror season for them with the Furniture Whisperer leading a badly thought out reprisal of the Third Reich and spending money as unrealistically as had ever been witnessed in football. This week a story came out claiming that Steve Bruce, upon hearing that Liverpool were interested in Henderson, suggested to his chairman that they might get as much as £4m for him. The furniture whisperer is long gone and has been replaced by the former Chelsea Fluffer Bending Rodgers, a real sharp cookie. His first idea was to try to buy Swansea but he hadn’t quite got enough money so instead he bought Joe Allen, but to remain true to recent transfer policy he paid 3 times what the player was worth. (More …)

     
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