A Real Week In Football – Episode IV…Why Always Balotelli? And Spain Win….Again.
Well it seems that since Spain turned it on for the final and admittedly put in a great performance, apparently any of us who called them boring earlier in the tournament were wrong to do so and now have egg on our faces? I did once have egg on my face when trying to be all Rocky Balboa but I was short on time and tried to do too much at once, I ended up falling down the stairs with a face looking like I’d took a money-shot facial off Slimer from Ghostbusters. As for the final proving me wrong about Spain, well it reminds me of the time Harold Shipman bottle fed an injured panda cub back to health and everyone had to say they were wrong for calling him an evil, murderous c*nt, earlier in life.
The match was Spain at their best with Xavi and Carty pulling the strings in the middle of the traditional 6 man midfield. On occasion they were nearly over run but luckily they had back-up midfielders; Ramos, Pique and Geordie Alba to help out. Obviously if things get too much there is still Casillas to join them but generally he spends a lot of his time keeping an eye on that “special” kid Arbeloa, making sure he’s not strangling himself with his shirt or simply distracted by that chap with the pretty, colourful flag running up and down at the side of him.
As the Spanish had taken the night to show us all what they are really capable of so to did Bellendotelli. He misled people in the semi-final by putting in a good performance over 90 minutes and scoring 2 goals. His performance against Germany had led some to take him seriously as a professional footballer. With no access to fireworks or a suitable platform available for him to publicly fist a goat, he decided to storm off like a spoilt little prick at the final whistle and push an Italian official out of his way when they tried to stop him from looking like a d1ckhead…again! Now if he’d taken his anger out on another official by the name of Platini, things would have been different.
Player of the tournament was awarded to Todd Carty who only just pipped wonderkid Pirlo to the award; I have to say since the emergence of this until-recently-unknown talent I’m excited to see what his career holds for the next 10-20 years. Senorita Torres was awarded the golden stiletto despite finishing in a 6 place tie for top goal scorer, UEFA claim it was due to minutes on the pitch but I’m sure a blow-job went a long way.
That’s it for the European Championships, John and I are off to find a more secure stables, a couple of the llamas have been found half eaten and we’re not sure whether Ando has been round to see Bebe and got peckish, or that c*nt Carlitos is back in the area.
We’ll be back in August.